With workshop looming (and clearly not possing the volition to write on my own) I worked on some pages last night. I was surprised to find myself totally grooving on them once they were done, although a few workshoppers have heard them before, they may actually work now!

Also cleaned up a game review which will hopefully get posted this week. Two reviews actually!

Then I got a little EQ2 in, mostly buying armor and managing inventory slots. Plus one death that I totally didn't expect to happen. Those fucking gnolls are going to pay, just like that guy on 14th Street! Oops, I've said too much...

All this after making an amazing salad with pepperjack and fried chicken on it.

Even with all these things, it don't improve my emotional life at the moment. But I digress. I miss my mp3 player (replacement one on the way).

I just wrote a long vent about the current hell that is my relationship, wondering why I couldn't be all these things to her, and LJ ate it. Maybe a sign, no?

I love porn, I hate the idea of marriage now, and I have no desire to move away from my job or NYC. These are things the S.O. knew coming into the relationship and these are the things that seem to now be ending it.

I willingly compromise on a lot of things, but I would need a really compelling reason to get married again, and I don't have one. She wants a warmer climate and a new job and hates several things about me, but is trying to drag me off to wherever. If she was important enough to me, she says, I'd be willing to do these things. She says I'm so good in so many other ways.

I feel bad that I'm unwilling to change some of these things. Is that stupid of me, that I'm guilty over not feeling differently?

Why do I fucking bother? I cook for her, take care of her, helping her find that new job in the state of her choice and for what? To essentially get a break up on Instant Messenger? Why do I fucking bother?

Time to get SUCKER tattooed on my forehead, just like that guy in Snow Crash had POOR IMPULSE CONTROL on his.

/end vent