Normally I wouldn't be caught dead consorting with the likes of jimhines, but hey... five bucks is five bucks!  When not earning cold hard cash as a General Zod impersonator (Google Image him!), he apparently writes books!

So according to him, all he's ever really wanted in life is to have a trilogy of books in stores, and with today's release of  Goblin War,
that sick twisted dream is a reality.  Recently Jim sat down with me (actually on my virtual lap, if you must know) and answered some questions... and for once I tried to keep it from being about DEAD TO ME!

Check out the interview and more importantly, buy the book!  He's funny... he makes my humor look like umm.. something less funny. See???

Anton:  I'm just wrapping up the second book in my series.  You're about to see your third Goblin book come out.  What are the good things/bad things about doing a series?

Jim:  One of the best things about doing the goblin trilogy was getting to spend more time with characters I love.  Jig and Smudge are so much fun to write.  All of the goblins are, really.  They're cowardly, backstabbing little schemers, but they're so open about it.  They're completely comfortable with who they are.

One of the challenges was making sure I wasn't telling the same story over and over, dragging things out purely for the sake of selling a few more books. I think it's easy to fall into patterns.  "Oh, I told this style of story before and it worked, so I'll just do it again."  We could all name authors who have recycled the same book again and again.  Though if I was getting paid as much as some of them, I'd be tempted to recycle a few books myself.)

Bottom line though, we write fantasy.  We are therefore contractually obligated to do trilogies.  It's part of the oath.

Anton:  The proverbial "they" say write what you know.  Jig is a bespectacled outsider among his people... any similarities to you?

Jim:  None whatsoever.  Sure, Jig's a nearsighted little bald guy who's too smart for his own good.  But see, Jig is blue.  Me, I'm not blue.  There's a clear difference.  And if some of Jig's experience with the goblin bullies sound a bit like my own years in Junior High School, well, that's a total coincidence.

Anton:  You list your favorite Muppet as Animal.  I would have pegged you as a Gonzo.  What gives?

Jim:  I'm a Gonzo who aspires to one day become an Animal.  I've got a long way to go.  I still can't play the drums, which is an important prerequisite.  And on the Gonzo side, I have to admit that the whole "Getting shot out of a cannon" thing sounds like a lot of fun.

Anton:  You have a wife, a day job, and kids.  When the hell do you find time to write?

Jim:  From about 11:45 am to 12:45 pm, Monday through Friday.  I've been fortunate to have managers who let me write during my lunch break each day.  Five hours a week lets me churn out about 5000 words.  If I'm on a deadline, I'll sometimes squeeze in some time in the evenings and on weekends, but the bulk of my writing happens during lunchtime.

Anton:  How much Dungeons & Dragons have you played in your life, and how has it influenced your work?

Jim:  Let's just say my first D&D set came in a box, and my first dice came with a white crayon so I could color in the numbers.  These days, I've got a group that meets every other week ... or at least we used to, until our cleric went and had a baby.  Some people really need to reevaluate their priorities.

You can definitely see a few gaming jokes in the goblin books.  Darnak's obsession with mapping comes from a friend in college.  (I toned it down a lot for Darnak, believe it or not.)  The ending of the first book is a mutated version of a trick I pulled in a game years ago.

But gaming doesn't really translate directly into storytelling.  A game is a collaborative story, very chaotic, where a group of players works their backsides off trying to derail the GM's carefully crafted plot.  When you're writing--  Actually, I've had characters do that same thing to me when I'm trying to write, now that I think about it.  Hm...

Anton:  I know you do a lot of self promotion.  What works, what doesn't from your experience?  Any advice to new authors trying to get the work out on their works?

Jim:  The goblin tattoos have been pretty popular, particularly given the interesting locations some of my fans have chosen to wear them.  Don't know if they've sold any books, but they certainly attract attention.  I've had less luck with contests, except for the LOL Book caption contest for Goblin War.  I think the key there was to make it fun.

Really, the most effective thing I've done to increase sales was to write the next book.  When Goblin Hero arrived in stores, sales of Goblin Quest doubled for the next month.  I'm hoping to see a similar effect with Goblin War.

To new authors trying to promote themselves, I would say, "Don't be a jerk."
Mentioning your book's release on your blog?  No worries.  Running around spamming message boards?  Now you're being a jerk.  Offering a review copy to someone?  Very cool.  Making up fake identities so you can review your book or carry on a "conversation" in an Amazon forum?  Jerk.  Introducing yourself to local bookstore managers?  Not a bad idea.  Berating them for not instantly ordering 12 copies of your book and arranging a signing?
Jerk.  Also, stupid.  You really don't want to piss off booksellers.

Anton:   What can we expect when we crack open Goblin War?  Will their be more Jig books in the future?

Jim:  Goblin War is, in my completely humble and objective opinion, the best of the three goblin books.  Events from the earlier books keep coming back to haunt poor Jig, who finds himself stuck in the middle of a war between humans and monsters.  Being Jig, he naturally ends up making enemies of both sides.

Thematically, Jig has spent the entire series trying to find a way to keep the goblins safe.  Mostly because that's the best way to keep himself safe.  This time around, Jig faces the very real possibility of seeing his entire lair wiped out, so he has to find a way to protect them both now and in the future.

I don't have any immediate plans to write another goblin book.  I'm currently working on a different series of ass-kicking fairy tale princess novels.  DAW has bought the first, and I've got proposals for the next two done, so that will likely keep me busy for a while.  But Jig's an awful lot of fun.  The end of Goblin War changes things a lot, and I wouldn't rule out the possibility of another goblin book somewhere down the line.

Thanks, Jim!

Jim Hines everbody!  Funny. Different.  Not blue.

Why lookee here along the right side of the page!

http://locusmag.com/

I was hit harder than I expected by the death of Gary Gygax, who I last saw talking about the forty year history of Gencon.

But I have to ask this question:
Has anyone thought to cast Animate Dead?
Or at least a Cure Light Wounds to keep him from dropping below -10 hit points?