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What is the sound of one writer weeping?

  • Feb. 28th, 2007 at 9:43 AM
Dead To Me
I just need to share my own frustration over myself here, so join in, kids!

I'm trying to do everything I can to sell the novel and be on the paying end of writing in long format, but you wouldn't know it from my actions. For instance:

The main manuscript I'm selling is a contemporary paranormal fantasy, a sort of urban noir lite.
So although I didn't end up going to the NY Comic con this past weekend, I had the opportunity to to go out for drinks from 4:30 to 6:30 pre-con with a work colleague, the B&N scifi/fantasy buyer and Jim Butcher, author of the now-a-tv-series The Dresden Files. It would have been just the four of us. So what do I say when I'm invited?

"No, thanks, I've got plans."

No, thanks, I've got plans... yep. That's what I said. It wouldn't have been so bad, except I really didn't have much in the way of plans other than going home after a long workday on Friday and sitting my ass down to relax. So why did I say that? I have no earthly idea, except to think I clearly don't want to succeed. I mean, Butcher is a hair away from the type of book I right for fuck's sake... and the B&N buyer just happens to be making his buy on the DAW anthology I'm in for August. In every conceivable way, I feel like I shot myself in the foot on this perfect opportunity.

I suspect I'll be kicking myself for quite some time over this. I'll keep chugging along. I've got an editor-in-chief and two agents with the manuscript now, so I'm not slacking, but I find my lack of rolling with the big boys is best summed up by my icon, who is speaking directly to me.

Comments

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[info]dinahprincedaly wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2007 03:00 pm (UTC)
shooting yourself in the finger I'd say... no wait... thats the new book!
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[info]lillianleitzel wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2007 03:08 pm (UTC)
Don't be too upset, snouter. That sucks, but it'll all come down to the glorious genius.
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[info]jimhines wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC)
Clearly, the correct response would have been, "No thanks, I've got plans ... but let me call up my good friend Jim Hines, who would be happy to drive out and join you."

Seriously, I think it's okay to forgive yourself for this one. Nobody can be "on" all the time. Some days you just need a break. This might or might not have been an opportunity for something useful to the career, but either way, it's not the only opportunity you'll ever get.
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[info]antonstrout wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2007 03:18 pm (UTC)
Just for that, I'm initiating a company wide strip return of your book!
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[info]jimhines wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC)
See how I helped you out just then, by redirecting your frustration at someone else? Sure, some might say that putting myself out there as your new target was a stupid move, but that's just the kind of friend I am.
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[info]arian1 wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
Life has a funny way of showing you the right path sometimes. I've been there before and it does work out. Spend a day excoriating some people on LJ and I'm sure you'll feel right as rain. Then go home, kiss your woman and realize that life ain't so bad. :)
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[info]orcatiff wrote:
Feb. 28th, 2007 07:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, my poor Anton. I can relate. Once upon a time I got invited to a casual lawn party shindig by a very well known celebrity I happened to know at the time. She specifically invited me because there were people there looking for screenwriters and manuscripts and she thought I'd make some good connections.

My response was nearly verbatim to yours.

I got not clue, doll. All I can say is that the brain must know when it can't handle schtuff like this, when opportunity's knocking on the wrong door, mayhaps?. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself for years now. It's worked...so far...sometimes. ;o)
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